HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MADONNA!
It’s Madonna’s birthday today - she turns 54. She was 23 in 1983 when her debut self-titled album, Madonna, was released. From that album we got the singles Borderline, Lucky Star, Holiday, & more. She’s changed her image a lot over the years and is a good reminder that change is the nature of the universe and you can always decide to reinvent yourself. You know what goes well with reinventing? You can take a moment to think, we’ll wait….
Tick tock tick tock….that’s right! SUNGLASSES! Remember those? Madonna is a great purveyor of sunglasses - she has built an empire and an empress needs a variety shades to keep herself current. Here are some styles she has rocked over the years…

Here she wears a light blue gradient wrap style. And she looks happy wearing that style. Maybe because light blue is the color of a clear sky and clear blue skies are what every human being yearns for on a daily basis so if you’re looking through light blue gradient lenses it turns the world into a clear blue sky or rather it makes your eyes two clear blue skies, which I guess would then make you God. Ok, so now why we know why she’s so happy - she thinks she’s GOD! This is what the world must look like to her in those glasses…

Which is pleasant, sure, but how do you make it to the drug store? I guess if you have a chauffeur it doesn’t really matter does it. The Fendi FS5209 style is similar to the blue gradient shields she wears above…

Madonna is a very fit woman. She probably works out every day, has a trainer or trainersssss, plural, probably dances up a storm, walks a lot, drinks protein shakes, lifts weights, and has a lot of extracurricular physical activity - she looks great for 53, she could pass for 40. Here she is in a sporty Adidas warm up suit which are complemented nicely with some Guccis…

We’re not even sure what style those are - maybe they’re the Gucci “Madonna” style. That’s a difficult frame to pull off too. Anyone out there think they could pull off this Gucci style…

I bet Madonna could. Isn’t that annoying when someone says something like that? I bet Madonna could. I bet Madonna could. I bet Madonna could. Write to us and let us know if you think you’re up to it! You’ll win a discount on a new order!
Here’s stern Madonna; no business or, rather, all business Madonna, the Madonna that doesn’t mess around. Fitting that she is in a pair of cat-eye Diors…

That’s a powerful image. If she were walking towards you on the sidewalk you’d probably move out of the way. We prefer the fun Madonna, the Holiday Madonna, seen here in glittery red heart sunglasses…

And then charmingly innocent-looking here in some shield wraps…

Check out the Gucci 2890 for something similar…

She’s come a long way since the Desperately Seeking Susan days shown in the first image of this post. Most people never change. You could see a picture of them from high school and then thirty years later on Facebook they’re exactly the same, maybe a few grey hairs. There’s nothing wrong with this of course, but it’s nice to see someone reinvent themselves over and over. Granted, she has the means, but she’s worked hard. Have you ever tried perfecting one of her dance routines while singing “Vogue” and then doing it night after night for months? Oh, so I’m the only one? Right. Just great. Now I’m alone. But that’s what it’s like being being on tour with her. You’re constantly dancing. You’re dancing for your life!
We’re gonna close this adulatory Madonna post with the queen of pop in some Christian Dior cat-eyes, the Bagatelle…

And we have these! Check em out…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MADONNA!

It’s Madonna’s birthday today - she turns 54. She was 23 in 1983 when her debut self-titled album, Madonna, was released. From that album we got the singles Borderline, Lucky Star, Holiday, & more. She’s changed her image a lot over the years and is a good reminder that change is the nature of the universe and you can always decide to reinvent yourself. You know what goes well with reinventing? You can take a moment to think, we’ll wait….

Tick tock tick tock….that’s right! SUNGLASSES! Remember those? Madonna is a great purveyor of sunglasses - she has built an empire and an empress needs a variety shades to keep herself current. Here are some styles she has rocked over the years…

Here she wears a light blue gradient wrap style. And she looks happy wearing that style. Maybe because light blue is the color of a clear sky and clear blue skies are what every human being yearns for on a daily basis so if you’re looking through light blue gradient lenses it turns the world into a clear blue sky or rather it makes your eyes two clear blue skies, which I guess would then make you God. Ok, so now why we know why she’s so happy - she thinks she’s GOD! This is what the world must look like to her in those glasses…

Which is pleasant, sure, but how do you make it to the drug store? I guess if you have a chauffeur it doesn’t really matter does it. The Fendi FS5209 style is similar to the blue gradient shields she wears above…

Madonna is a very fit woman. She probably works out every day, has a trainer or trainersssss, plural, probably dances up a storm, walks a lot, drinks protein shakes, lifts weights, and has a lot of extracurricular physical activity - she looks great for 53, she could pass for 40. Here she is in a sporty Adidas warm up suit which are complemented nicely with some Guccis…

We’re not even sure what style those are - maybe they’re the Gucci “Madonna” style. That’s a difficult frame to pull off too. Anyone out there think they could pull off this Gucci style…

I bet Madonna could. Isn’t that annoying when someone says something like that? I bet Madonna could. I bet Madonna could. I bet Madonna could. Write to us and let us know if you think you’re up to it! You’ll win a discount on a new order!

Here’s stern Madonna; no business or, rather, all business Madonna, the Madonna that doesn’t mess around. Fitting that she is in a pair of cat-eye Diors…

That’s a powerful image. If she were walking towards you on the sidewalk you’d probably move out of the way. We prefer the fun Madonna, the Holiday Madonna, seen here in glittery red heart sunglasses…

And then charmingly innocent-looking here in some shield wraps…

Check out the Gucci 2890 for something similar…

She’s come a long way since the Desperately Seeking Susan days shown in the first image of this post. Most people never change. You could see a picture of them from high school and then thirty years later on Facebook they’re exactly the same, maybe a few grey hairs. There’s nothing wrong with this of course, but it’s nice to see someone reinvent themselves over and over. Granted, she has the means, but she’s worked hard. Have you ever tried perfecting one of her dance routines while singing “Vogue” and then doing it night after night for months? Oh, so I’m the only one? Right. Just great. Now I’m alone. But that’s what it’s like being being on tour with her. You’re constantly dancing. You’re dancing for your life!

We’re gonna close this adulatory Madonna post with the queen of pop in some Christian Dior cat-eyes, the Bagatelle

And we have these! Check em out…

Britney, Britney, Britney!
It’s been rather quiet on the Britney front lately. No crazy haircuts, no flashing of body parts, no car incidents, screaming rages, romantic trysts, sex videos, babies, dancers, dancing babies, baby dancers - it’s all been a little too quiet for our tastes. We’re going to reward this peace with some noise…just a little sunglass appreciation thrown her way.
Britney Spears must have thousands of sunglasses. You could probably fill a house with them, or feed a starving nation. Granted, not the best meal on earth. We wonder if it’s even a tad stressful figuring out what pair to wear on any given day. Aviators or Tom Fords? Guccis or Fendis? Blindes or Diors? Underwear or no underwear?
Here’s a day she chose to wear the Tom Ford “Whitney” style (maybe because it rhymes with Britney?)…

The Tom Fords above automatically give a glamorous flair to any look. She looks like she just walked out of a detective’s office after hiring him to follow her husband around…
"She had a face that looked like Britney Spears, because she was. She told me she wanted me to find her husband. I told her she doesn’t have a husband. She said find him anyway. I said I don’t look for husbands that don’t exist. She said don’t worry about him existing or not, just find him. Easier said than done. I complimented her sunglasses, then she left."
Here is the Tom Ford Whitney style sans Britney Spears…

This is the Britney Spears we typically think of…

Fun, free-wheelin’ Britney. The girl-next-door-Britney. Granted, a girl next door who rarely wears underwear and drives with her baby in her lap, but maybe there’s a town somewhere where everyone doesn’t wear underwear and drives with their babies in their lap. Maybe it’s McComb, MS, where Britney is from - here is a picture of downtown McComb, MS…

Hard to find anyone in this picture and tell whether they’re wearing underwear or not.
But what you can tell is this is a normal American small town. And what better way to represent those American values than with aviators…

Metal aviators above, plastic Ray Ban RB4125 aviators below…

Here is what they look like when they’re not on Britney Spears…

But if you really want to see a girl smile put her in some Carrera Champions…

See how happy those make you? They MAKE you a Champion! She is, in the words of Charlie Sheen, “winning.”
We all want to win but some of us don’t compete and then we never get the chance to feel that glory. Most of us will not be famous athletes or even non-famous athletes. And if we do compete, athletic or not, there is a slim chance you will win and even if you win once you’ll want to win twice and then you’ll hope and fear. What I’m trying to say is, let’s remove these obstacles and jump to the finish line in a pair of Carrera Champion L sunglasses…

Why should Britney be the only who wins?!

Britney, Britney, Britney!

It’s been rather quiet on the Britney front lately. No crazy haircuts, no flashing of body parts, no car incidents, screaming rages, romantic trysts, sex videos, babies, dancers, dancing babies, baby dancers - it’s all been a little too quiet for our tastes. We’re going to reward this peace with some noise…just a little sunglass appreciation thrown her way.

Britney Spears must have thousands of sunglasses. You could probably fill a house with them, or feed a starving nation. Granted, not the best meal on earth. We wonder if it’s even a tad stressful figuring out what pair to wear on any given day. Aviators or Tom Fords? Guccis or Fendis? Blindes or Diors? Underwear or no underwear?

Here’s a day she chose to wear the Tom Ford “Whitney” style (maybe because it rhymes with Britney?)…

The Tom Fords above automatically give a glamorous flair to any look. She looks like she just walked out of a detective’s office after hiring him to follow her husband around…

"She had a face that looked like Britney Spears, because she was. She told me she wanted me to find her husband. I told her she doesn’t have a husband. She said find him anyway. I said I don’t look for husbands that don’t exist. She said don’t worry about him existing or not, just find him. Easier said than done. I complimented her sunglasses, then she left."

Here is the Tom Ford Whitney style sans Britney Spears…

This is the Britney Spears we typically think of…

Fun, free-wheelin’ Britney. The girl-next-door-Britney. Granted, a girl next door who rarely wears underwear and drives with her baby in her lap, but maybe there’s a town somewhere where everyone doesn’t wear underwear and drives with their babies in their lap. Maybe it’s McComb, MS, where Britney is from - here is a picture of downtown McComb, MS…

Hard to find anyone in this picture and tell whether they’re wearing underwear or not.

But what you can tell is this is a normal American small town. And what better way to represent those American values than with aviators…

Metal aviators above, plastic Ray Ban RB4125 aviators below…

Here is what they look like when they’re not on Britney Spears…

But if you really want to see a girl smile put her in some Carrera Champions

See how happy those make you? They MAKE you a Champion! She is, in the words of Charlie Sheen, “winning.”

We all want to win but some of us don’t compete and then we never get the chance to feel that glory. Most of us will not be famous athletes or even non-famous athletes. And if we do compete, athletic or not, there is a slim chance you will win and even if you win once you’ll want to win twice and then you’ll hope and fear. What I’m trying to say is, let’s remove these obstacles and jump to the finish line in a pair of Carrera Champion L sunglasses…

Why should Britney be the only who wins?!

Thursday, August 2nd, 2012
Britney, Britney, Britney

It’s been rather quiet on the Britney front lately. No crazy haircuts, no flashing of body parts, no car incidents, screaming rages, romantic trysts, sex videos, babies, dancers, dancing babies, baby dancers - it’s all been a little too quiet for our tastes. We’re going to reward this peace with some noise…just a little sunglass appreciation thrown her way.

Britney Spears must have thousands of sunglasses. You could probably fill a house with them, or feed a starving nation. Granted, not the best meal on earth. We wonder if it’s even a tad stressful figuring out what pair to wear on any given day. Aviators or Tom Fords? Guccis or Fendis? Blindes or Diors? Underwear or no underwear?

Here’s a day she chose to wear the Tom Ford “Whitney” style (maybe because it rhymes with Britney?)…

The Tom Fords above automatically give a glamorous flair to any look. She looks like she just walked out of a detective’s office after hiring him to follow her husband around…

"She had a face that looked like Britney Spears, because she was. She told me she wanted me to find her husband. I told her she doesn’t have a husband. She said find him anyway. I said I don’t look for husbands that don’t exist. She said don’t worry about him existing or not, just find him. Easier said than done. I complimented her sunglasses, then she left."

Here is the Tom Ford Whitney style sans Britney Spears…

This is the Britney Spears we typically think of…

Fun, free-wheelin’ Britney. The girl-next-door-Britney. Granted, a girl next door who rarely wears underwear and drives with her baby in her lap, but maybe there’s a town somewhere where everyone doesn’t wear underwear and drives with their babies in their lap. Maybe it’s McComb, MS, where Britney is from - here is a picture of downtown McComb, MS…

Hard to find anyone in this picture and tell whether they’re wearing underwear or not.

But what you can tell is this is a normal American small town. And what better way to represent those American values than with aviators…

Metal aviators above, plastic Ray Ban RB4125 aviators below…

Here is what they look like when they’re not on Britney Spears…

But if you really want to see a girl smile put her in some Carrera Champions

See how happy those make you? They MAKE you a Champion! She is, in the words of Charlie Sheen, “winning.”

We all want to win but some of us don’t compete and then we never get the chance to feel that glory. Most of us will not be famous athletes or even non-famous athletes. And if we do compete, athletic or not, there is a slim chance you will win and even if you win once you’ll want to win twice and then you’ll hope and fear. What I’m trying to say is, let’s remove these obstacles and jump to the finish line in a pair of Carrera Champion L sunglasses…

Why should Britney be the only who wins?!

Tuesday, July 17th, 2012
From Cruise to Cruise

When you hear the name “Tom Cruise” all kinds of things pop into your head, some printable, some not. Risky Business, Top Gun, Mission Impossible, Scientology, Katie Holmes - and those are just the words we’re printing for optimal Search Engine placement…

…Don’t forget Rain Man, Magnolia, The Outsiders, jumping on Oprah’s couch…

Which raises this question… if Tom Cruise jumps on Oprah’s couch when he’s fallen in love, does he jump on Ellen’s couch when he’s getting divorced? Food for thought. I’d like to see him jump on everyone’s couch. He should do a cross-country tour where you can ask him to come over and jump on your couch. Be funny to wake up from a nap, walk into your living room and say, “Is that Tom Cruise jumping on my couch???”

Tom Cruise has been an iconic celebrity since the early 1980s and he played a huge part in renewing the Ray Ban wayfarer’s popularity. Although let’s not forget Ilene Giardini. Remember her? You don’t remember Ilene Giardini???? Hel-lo out there! No, we don’t expect you to know who she is, but she was the wardrobe stylist for Risky Business so she probably played a part too. Here is that iconic wayfarer Cruise…

Here is the current Ray Ban Wayfarer RB2140

But he’s changed his look so much over the years. And he didn’t just revamp the Wayfarer’s popularity, he also had a hand in the Ray Ban aviator RB3025. Remember when he took our breath away…

You can look like that too - you need these…

Soon you’ll be saying “That’s right. Ice… man. I am dangerous” at Baskin & Robbins when the clerk asks you whether you want a cup or cone.

Cruise’s popularity and bankability is due obviously in large part to his face but he’s also a talented actor. He’s intense and his intensity grips you. Whereas most peoples’ sunglasses wear them he really wears his sunglasses - they are at his mercy - who’s controlling who in this action shot from the movie Knight & Day…

And even in casual every day scenarios he still owns his glasses to the point where they’re like a henchman for him…

The phone, the glasses, the smile, the laugh, the hair, the slick black suit, the finger, the teeth - this guy’s famous for a reason. That’s like a Celebrity 101 photo right there - they teach you that in acting school. “I wanna see happy. I wanna see intense. I wanna see cool, in control, but also vulnerable, a power player, but needy, you’re thrilled to be here, and excited to see what’s gonna come of it.” “You mean, you wanna see Tom Cruise?” “Exactly! Give me Tom Cruise!” Ok ok! Here! Here is Tom Cruise…

Like the glasses he’s wearing? They’re very similar to the Michael by Michael Kors M2052S style…

Here’s Tom in a candid you-got-me paparazzi photo…

Even here he looks ready. The guy’s just always so READY! “Reservation’s in ten min-” “Ready.” Oh, ok. “The wedding starts in abo-” “Ready.” “There’s a terrorist on the roof, we have to call th-” “Ready!” Ready ready ready.

The shades in the above photo are very similar to the Gucci 1011

You want the “Ready!” test? Here he is with now ex Katie Holmes…

Who’s looking towards the car and who’s ready for that camera? But that’s the charming smiling ready-for-it Cruise. There’s also the man’s man Cruise, the reason the theatre isn’t just filled with women…

"That’s me up there scaling that building in Saudi Arabia," men are thinking in their theatre seats. Well, not quite, but that’s what’s he’s given us. He’s a whole genre unto himself. I don’t even know what the style is - it’s definitely a cat-eye but a military one. It’s designed for scaling buildings, fighting international terrorist conglomerates, and it also provides excellent UV protection.

Thursday, July 12th, 2012
A Sight to Behold

People who wear eyeglasses have historically been thought of as nerds but this has basically disappeared from popular culture at this point. The days of being called “4 Eyes” and “poindexter” are thankfully over, not only because it’s moderately rude but also because they’re really dumb insults. Maybe in the 1950s they held some weight and being called “poindexter” was the worst thing that could happen to someone with glasses but these days the insult will hurt the hurler more than the receivee. This is a picture of Poindexter from Revenge of the Nerds…

Here’s a picture of Buster Poindexter, who made “Hot Hot Hot” so popular…

Buster Poindexter’s real name is actually David Johansen, who was originally in the New York rock band, The New York Dolls - here he is from that period…

He’s really changed over the years, much like the public image of someone in prescription glasses has changed. That’s the main point you should take away from these various Poindexters. Poindexter sounds like something a William Zabka antagonist would say - William Zabka is best known as Johnny from the first Karate Kid - here he is in Just One of the Guys, an ’80s class…

Even the first Poindexter from Revenge of the Nerds looks cooler than him. When was that sweater vest popular? It must be so warm underneath all that. People get meaner when they’re overheated, maybe that has something to do with it.

ANYWAY - MOVING ON…

It used to be that wearing glasses was something people who wore contacts resorted to when they lost their contacts or were at home, in privacy, when nobody would see them, or if you just didn’t know any better, which is what nerds were thought as (not knowing any better). And it’s probably because eyeglass designers weren’t as fashion-forward as clothing designers, all of whom now manufacturer fashion-forward eyeglass frames. For instance, here’s Linda Carter, also known as Wonder Woman, in the 1970s…

Now those are probably in style, being worn by young retro-enthusiasts who think 1976 was when the Declaration of Independence was signed.

Something similar made by Gucci is the 3503

Not known as the official “Wonder Woman” style but we’re going to say that you will probably feel a lot like Wonder Woman with these, even if you’re a man (Wonder Man? He sounds more baffled than super). People have been writing us from all over the world with success stories like “Thank you for my Gucci 3503s! I am Wonder Woman!”

Here are some current celebs who look hot in their prescription eyeglasses, proving “you’re a nerd if you need glasses” is a thing of the past…

Starting with Megan Fox…

Nothing really nerdy going on there. Looking over the shoulder helps.

Tina Fey has made her glasses part of her image…

Here’s Christina Hendricks from Mad Men

Here’s Lauren Conrad from The Hills & Amber Riley from Glee

This one’s a little freaky - it’s Annette Bening looking like she was struck by lightning…

Anne Hathaway in large square glasses…

The ones in the photo above are very similar to the Armani 776

Now YOU can look like Anne Hathaway if you want - this offer has never been made before. People have never known how to look like Anne Hathaway and they have been roaming Hollywood in search for answers - search no more!

Thursday, July 5th, 2012
50 Shades of John

One of the most iconic purveyor of sunglasses is singer/songwriter Elton John. The man behind hits such as “Rocket Man,” “Tiny Dancer,” “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me,” and of course “I’m Still Standing” has given us sunglass eye candy from the beginning of his career. Few, if anyone, can match him at this game. For instance, where do you go from here…

We don’t even have a comparable suggestion to offer on the website for this style. Headlights, windshield wipers, under water vision. Maybe you’d also like this style…

Try wearing that on your face. That would also be a rude awakening if a friend of yours offered you a weekend getaway on their boat as friends with boats sometimes do…

"Wanna come on the boat for the weekend?"

"Yes!"

"Great. We just need you to sign an insurance waiver!"

"Why?!"

"For relaxation!"

"What kind of a boat am I going on?"

"Just a normal vacation boat. Do you have any problems going 500mph?"

Elton John has never strayed from attempting the out of the ordinary, the unusual, the bizarre. Nothing’s too weird costume-wise for him. Remember when he dressed as Mozart…

In fact it’s kind of hard to recommend any of the styles Elton John wears. They’re all too unique. Here’s Elton in a devil style…

Here he is wearing turquoise wayfarers with a little wizard on the corner…

What are we supposed to recommend for that? The cool thing about Elton’s sunglass preferences is that he’s gone through so many styles it’s no longer about looking “cool” or hip for him. He redefines hip and cool with his sunglass choices. Most of us want to look as cool as possible in our shades, or we want to hide our eyes and maintain an air of reserve, aloofness. He’s the opposite - he’s saying “Please look at me! I didn’t wear these just for me!” Nobody who wants to look cool or keep aloof would wear sparkly turquoise glasses with a happy wizard perched on the corner.

He did start out looking cool though…

He started “The Robber Fly” style that was so popular in the early 70s. Remember when everyone was doing “The Robber Fly” and moms and dads were like, “You’re not going outside looking like !@$#@! Robber Fly! Not in this house! You go upstairs and look more like a respectable insect, a bee, a butterfly maybe. We didn’t raise you to be a god-forsaken robber fly!” Ladies and gentlemen…the Robber Fly…

Still glamoury and glittery but more in the cool arena as opposed to, say, this one…

That’s more like a guy playing piano at the mall, Christmas tunes during holiday shopping, or a Chuck E Cheese or something.

I wouldn’t say he’s cooling down though if this shot is any indication…

That’s a lot of color for one man, and it’s certainly not shying away from the spotlight. In fact it IS the spotlight. You could see this man at night and you would need Corey Hart’s sunglasses to do so. Aliens are probably using Elton John’s outfits as guides to land their spacecraft here.

The classic image of Elton John is probably his Greatest Hits album cover…

And this time we do have a recommendation, the Kate Spade “Darryl”

The Darryl will make you current in comparison to the rest of the world but you’ll still be 30+ years behind Sir Elton John. But he’s royalty and you can’t expect to be ahead of royalty. In fact, we think it might be illegal in Europe. So the Kate Spade Darryl is the only true cross-continental legal option for you.

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012
Art Imitates Sunglasses

Sunglasses not only influence the 3D world but the 2D world as well. If you want your art to mirror life then sometimes art is going to involve sunglasses. Many graffiti artists have incorporated sunglasses into their murals and paintings that potentially influence anyone walking by as to what kind of sunglasses they might buy next. You might, for instance, want to be this cool 70s dude if you saw this portrait…

And you know what? You could, with the Guess 6571 style…

It’s kind of like rain and evaporation and all that science that you’ve most likely forgotten since the 1st grade. Rain falls from the clouds into the ground, then evaporates back into the atmosphere, and into the clouds, and then rain falls again. Something like that. Well, first a manufacturer creates the sunglasses, then someone in the real world buys them, then the artist takes someone’s image and puts it in their painting, then we look at the painting and want to be the person in the image so we buy the sunglasses the image is wearing, or the closest thing to them, and art and life circulate like this, hopefully forever. It’s the miracle of life mirrored in a fun retail parallel. People love retail metaphors, that’s why we give them to you.

And even if the Aztecs are correct about 2012….

…and the world is ending, maybe there’s room for sunglasses in the new world. There could be one man or woman still standing in the rubble who finds a pair of sunglasses in the ground, puts them on, and says something like “It’s time to start seeing things in a new light.” Something akin to this scenario…

This guy’s gonna need sunglasses eventually. Here’s a confusing image to stare at for awhile…

You’ve got everything in this image: cool aviators, an orange ice pop, a nice looking man, an Iguana, a stone head with either vine or a snake wrapped around it, a turquoise portal ejecting 747 airplanes one after the other, and then there was a 3rd person who was apparently there for all of it. I wish they’d tell us where this happened. Then again, not to be critical, but this is just another orange ice pop stone head man iguana turquoise portal 747 airplane scenario that we’ve grown so tired of lately.

Here’s some classic graffiti showcasing some cool shades…

Here’s a portrait of a very happy man…

This being art that’s not a real style, but they’re similar to the Carrera33

Here’s a total dude…

We’ve got a blind monkey on the left and an angry monkey on the right and one really cool dude in the middle. We can only guess that the angry monkey is upset this guy’s so laid back and he covets the aviators and is thinking, “I want those aviators so bad. Who does he think he is walking around in those. Just because I’m a monkey doesn’t mean I don’t have rights. Didn’t we learn anything from Project X?! I can call Matthew Broderick in a second if I want and you do not want Matthew Broderick coming down on you. Sarah Jessica Parker is my wife’s tennis partner so don’t think this isn’t possible, pal. You’re not even listening to me! Frustrating. I need to practice my Rosetta Stone English.”

Don’t end up like that angry monkey. Get a pair of shades. It’s what Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker would want for you.

Wednesday, June 27th, 2012
You look hilarvelous!

There’s a theory that you can’t be too into the way you look if you want to be funny. If you think you’re good-looking it will detract from how funny you are. You may in fact be good-looking, but as long as you don’t think you are then you stand a better chance at being funny and making others laugh.

A good example of this might be Carrot Top…

Does the person in this photo strike you as a comedian? As opposed to, say, this person…

Do you see the difference?

Actually both Carrot Top and Will Ferrell make millions of people laugh, but there’s something a little disturbing about a beefy comedian. How do you focus on jokes and humility while simultaneously pumping huge loads of iron? It’s as if this monolog is going through your head, “They wanna see funny? I’ll show them 300 lbs of funny on their face. My triceps will leave funny all over their back as I’m pounding on it with enormous muscular thighs that I can barely move.” Hilarious.

I think as soon as you ask someone to spot you you’ve left comedy in the locker room, or maybe even the parking lot outside the gym…for this is a locker room…

and you see how empty it is? There are no jokes in this room.

NEVERTHELESS…funny people often change their image once off-stage and out of the limelight into what they really want to be and feel comfortable as. Funny people don’t walk around in clown make-up because that’s sad and frightening. They look just like you and me and they want to look cool too. Here’s Sacha Baron Cohen as the loveable Borat…

And here’s the real Sacha Baron Cohen…

We’re not sure what style that is but it looks a lot like the Carrera 14 style…

Carrera is really hot right now - it used to be about fancy race car jackets in the ’80s and you had to have big hair and fuzzy key chains with L.A. Gear high top sneakers but in recent years they’ve moved into the spotlight and rappers and musicians love them. Their big aviator frames are the rage. Case in point…Jamie Foxx in the Carrera Hot/S style…

Actually Jamie Foxx probably is ripped, but he’s also an R&B singer. So it’s like his mind belongs to comedy and his body belongs to R&B. That’s a difficult balance and rare to be respected in both worlds. We’re actually not even sure if he is a comedian anymore. He may have segued into a physically fit dramatic R&B singer/actor.

Steve Carell is considered one of the funniest people in America right now - something about his face - can you imagine him asking you to spot him in a gym? Do you even want to imagine that? Here he is in the Ray Ban RB2132-945 model…

Here’s Adam Sandler in a pair of wraps, walking with his daughter…

That photo could almost be a still from one his movies…Daddy’s Girl or something.

Lastly, Ricky Gervais in the Ray Ban RB3025 aviators

FUNNY! No weight lifting going on there.

This is the great power of sunglasses - they transform instantly. You’re funny on stage, but sunglasses make you cool off stage. You’re a clown for crowds, but sunglasses make you mysterious in private.

Also, as a disclaimer, we do not have any issue with gyms, exercise, locker rooms, looking good, being healthy and physically fit, having large muscles, wanting to be strong, not wanting to be funny, and/or eating right. Just to be clear.

Monday, June 25th, 2012
Keeping up with the Osbournes.

ARE WE BEING TRICKED BY THE DEVIL?

The metamorphosis of Ozzy Osbourne from messenger from hell to loveable mainstream television character is almost weirder than some of the stage pranks Ozzy used to pull in the ’70s. Here is a guy who mistakenly ate a real bat on stage, snorted a line of ants while on tour with Motley Crue, and god knows what else. But then at a certain point he became a loveable Millennial tv character, almost like a Norm from Cheers or a Kramer from Seinfeld - that one character that everyone loves and the audience can’t wait till they come onscreen. How did this happen?

Or is that how the devil works? ‘Changes a once frightening image into a loveable mainstream figure you feel comfortable letting into your home - what does that sentiment remind me of…

Or is it the genius of Sharon Osbourne’s managerial skills? Something tells me she’s the Wizard of Os in this family, running the show, making sure all the gears are turning properly.

I think we can agree this family ages well. Given the abuse Ozzy has put his body through he looks good. Sharon continues to look great too and Jack has turned into a man along the way. Sharon has a hot pair of modern fashionable aviators in the above photo akin to the Diane Von Furstenberg DVF804S style…

We’re not saying that she’s wearing this particular style, mind you. Just similar is all. Here’s a picture Diane Von Furstenberg

She also looks good. Is old the new new? Refined is a better word than old. That would be a better expression for all of us actually. “How old is your mother?” “She’s 85 yrs refined.” “Very good sir.” “Thank you, Jeeves.” “You’re welcome, sir.” “When did I get a butler?” “You’ve always had one, sir.” “Excellent.”

In the photo above with his mum, Jack wears a style akin to the Persol 0714 model…

Which is a very popular style. Do a google search for the Persol 0714 and you’ll see how many celebs wear this model. Like Joaquin Phoenix for starters…

Smoking causes low birth weight and many other problems. We don’t condone it. But it does add a certain flair to the look.

Here’s Kelly Osbourne in cat-eyes. We’re gonna take a chance and say they are the Tom Ford Nikita style…

What is it about the cat-eye style that drives women crazy? It’s like sunglass cat-nip. These are severe cat-eyes too - there is no denying that it’s a cat-eye style.

Well, we don’t know exactly how the Osbournes managed to become mainstream, unless it’s US who have changed while they remained the same and we finally caught up. Which would mean we’ve collectively gotten in touch with our inner “evil.” Food for thought - like, say, an apple.

Friday, June 22nd, 2012
The Classic, the Frightening, and the Forward

Some celebrities, you think of them, you immediately see them in your head in a particular style. If we say the name “John Lennon” what do you think of? You probably think of some version of this…

The classic round glasses. He somehow made glasses into a rebellious poetic look. Few can pull that off. How many rebels do you know that wear eyeglasses? Come to think of it, how many rebels wear contacts for that matter. We should do a poll, though what rebel would submit themselves… “Hey, I’m a rebel! I heard you were doing a poll! I wear  contacts! What do I win? When will you pick the winner??? Will I get an email??? Lol! U rock 4 eva! I’m rebel4ulol67@aol.com - hit me up!”

Takes a man to start a trend. Or a woman. Or a wo-man. I guess that would just be a woman also. Maybe it’s those particular round glasses that made him manly - for instance, Benjamin Franklin also wore a similar style…

and he was said to be quite the ladies man, certainly a rebel. Maybe when you invent electricity women simply flock to you. Would be hard to beat in a pick-up scenario in a pub…

Generic man, “Can I buy you a drink?”

Lady, “Sure!”

Benjamin Franklin, “Or maybe you’d like the man who invented electricity to buy you a drink.”

Lady, “You bet I would.”

Generic Man, “I guess the Declaration of Independence wasn’t enough for you. Thanks.”

Here’s the same look on Whoopi Goldberg, a woman…

She’s sort of a cross between Benjamin Franklin and John Lennon. She’s also a rebel, and she’s made the classic round glasses her look.

A great modernized version of this classic round look is the Ray Ban RB3447

Because you don’t want to look exactly like John Lennon, Benjamin Franklin, and Whoopi Goldberg all together. That would be weird. That’s an odd look. But you can at least emulate them, grab a piece of their style and mix it with your own.

Here is another classic look - Woody Allen…

Classic nerd turned rebel-nerd, turned - well, let’s just leave it at “turned.” Classic look, classic black glasses, it’s part of his mystique. It’s the Woody Allen brand even. That’s the key - to turn your look into a brand, whether you’re selling yourself or not. And you’re always selling yourself somewhat.

Check out the Emporio Armani EA9804 look for a modernized version of the “Woody Allen” style…

Here an example of a fright…

We don’t know if it’s the sunglasses or what, but what has Lady Gaga done to that baby?! That baby probably thinks it’s being hunted by an alien cowboy cyborg solid gold dancer (on a sidenote: very fashionable sweater on that baby). You’d think with “Gaga” in your name you’d be a baby favorite - “Can you say ‘ga-ga’?” Parent, “(S)he says gaga everyday. It’s a baby.” Lady Gaga favors the shield look - in her defense, shields are pretty cool - they hide everything, and if you’re a celebrity, sometimes even the top half of your face being anonymous is something.

Here’s a real look towards the future…

Rihanna in lace black sunglasses. We don’t know if she can even see through those things but they look awesome. Must be custom-made. Maybe not the perfect everyday pair but they serve a purpose. Hopefully she’s not driving a car with them…

"What happened, Officer? Was I speeding? I can’t see a thing in these black lace sunglasses!"

Officer, “Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble. Lindsay Lohan crashed into you.”

We tip our hat to all the celebrities, trend-makers, and eyeglass rebels - we’ll see you in the future.